Dec 14, 2006|
The season is upon us, and with it the wild-eyed dash around malls, trying in vain to come up with a thoughtful, unusual and fabulous gift for your loved ones thirty minutes before the shops shut. Before hastily scribbling an IOU for a back massage on an old receipt, take our quiz to see how you’re doing, then go for something in our emergency Christmas shopping guide.
It is two weeks until Christmas. What stage are you at with your Christmas shopping?
A) All gifts prepared and under tree by 5pm, December 5th
B) Horribly incomplete
C) Christmas shopping? You'll need to call my wife/amah/secretary (delete as appropriate)
What is your Christmas wrapping style?
A) Children and employees on hand to cut tape into 2cm increments. They are NOT allowed to touch the wrapping paper in case of creasing.
B) You like it to look nice, but at the end of the day, it’s torn off so quickly what’s the point of overzealous wrapping?
C) They put it in a bag at the store already. That's good enough, right?
Dashing around the shops can be pretty stressful. How do you unwind if it’s all getting too much for you?
A) Shoot withering glances at panicked people who haven't even started their shopping yet
B) Apply soothing balm to stress-related shingles
C) Valium-addled backhand to the nearest shopgirl
What’s your fail-safe shopping technique?
A) Find blueprints of every shopping mall in Hong Kong and draft a movement chart, taking into account school and work opening hours, public holidays and the lunch crowd
B) Snatched moments at lunchtime and after work, and as much online shopping as possible
C) Tazer a tai-tai and make off with her shopping cart
What’s your stance on re-gifting?
A) It’s appalling and has nothing to do with the true meaning of Christmas. Anyone caught re-gifting to you is taken off your Christmas card list.
B) It’s a sordid little Christmas tradition, but everybody’s doing it
C) I put a little blue mark on a box of cookies and I noticed that I've recieved it three times already this year
What’s your favorite “if all else fails” shop?
A) Marks and Spencer. People always need socks, underwear or tubs of biscuits.
B) MTR station shops. Namely, the ones nearest your usual exit.
C) None. You cut the tags off other people's gifts and attach your own.
Who is your Christmas shopping partner?
A) I operate solo. Any distractions will hamper my productivity.
B) Best friend. With them, a boring job becomes much more fun.
C) Secretary. Well, not so much as a partner as the person who just does it for you and files the receipts under company expenses.
What’s your Christmas morning ritual?
A) Rise at 8am and wake the darling little cherubs, then sit in the living room and sing Christmas carols. You like to think of yourselves as the Hong Kong Von Trapp family.
B) Rise at 11am hung over as hell and with an overcooked turkey in the oven. Family argument at around 5pm. All in all, another successful Christmas.
C) Go to the dentist to be fitted for new molars. You've ground the last pair into little stumps.
Mostly A’s: Christmas Control Freak
Lighten up, it’s not how your Christmas looks that counts. There’s no point in sourcing a nativity scene hand-carved out of ice as your table centerpiece if you’re wound so tightly that the slightest mishap will edge you over the precipice of a nervous breakdown. Take a load off and remember Christmas is meant to be a holiday.
Mostly B’s: Congratulations, you’re mortal
Although you acknowledge that Christmas is a stressful time, and shopping can be a pain, at least you are realistic about your capabilities. Anyway, after the blood, sweat and tears, you still really enjoy Christmas, warts and all.
Mostly C’s: This isn’t the true meaning of Christmas at all
Sending someone else out to pick your gifts? Taking your frustration at your own disorganization out on others? Your main problem is that you are so busy, you forget about Christmas until it’s too late. It’s time for you to spread a little more Christmas cheer around town, and our last-minute gift ideas should go some way toward lowering your blood pressure.
Some D’s: Relax, those were just jokes.