Patio 88 is one of those moderately pricey spots for lunch—it’s the kind of place that office folks earning $8k per month treat themselves to once in a rare while. Heavy on the Italian dishes, its diverse menu also includes everything from paella to baby-back ribs. The only problem is, none of it is any good. The escargot tastes plucked from a potted plant and fried with too much garlic, the overcooked pasta is too creamy even for someone who doesn’t mind cholesterol, and the bone-heavy rack of lamb is as tough as cartilage. But the absolute shocker is the Baked Alaska—the archaic dish known for its difficulty to make came out simply as ice cream on sponge cake. On top of that, half the wines in their selection were “sold out,” or possibly never really available. This is just another “European restaurant” that’s trying too hard.