Movies are big business. It’s gotten to the point where lack of inspiration has producers scrambling to turn any half-baked idea—even their own—into celluloid gold. “What Just Happened?” is based on the tell-all book by movie producer Art Linson—specifically, it rips out the book’s two best vignettes, Chinese-whispers them up with a bit more tarnish, slaps in an all-star cast culled from years of ass-kissings and owe-ya-ones, and flicks on the projector for one big in-joke.

We follow Ben (DeNiro), a producer who hasn’t had a hit in years, over a one-week period as he balances domestic dramas with the dilemmas of two potential comebacks: a hotshot auteur director who refuses to tone down his excessively violent masterpiece (in actuality, David Fincher’s “Fight Club”), and Bruce Willis refusing to shave his Grizzly Adams beard (in actuality, Alec Baldwin being an idiot).

Like a studio head with an appointment in 5, we’re going to do this the quick and easy way. Here’s the good: DeNiro showing more range than he has in a decade as a spineless gear-grinder, Willis hilariously overplaying his ego, Moon Bloodgood’s tit-flash, and a title that perfectly captures the audience’s reaction as they walk out.

And here’s the one bad point: the entire concept. A producer’s life is, for lack of a better word, boring. There’s a reason HBO’s “Entourage” focuses on actors, directors and agents: producers are middlemen; they round up the cash and deal with the studios. It’s not about creativity or kudos; their eyes are firmly on the box-office prize.

Take all that, toss in their personal life and what you get is everyone relating with how boring this chump’s home and work lives are.  Cinematic escape it ain’t. Aww, we feel so bad that you’re rich and live in the Hills and are balancing two women and aren’t as successful as say, Jerry Bruckheimer. Life just sucks, doesn’t it? Harden the fuck up, and next time leave the creativity to the creative types.

2 Stars by Pavan Shamdasani.

Directed by Barry Levinson. Starring Robert DeNiro, Bruce Willis, Sean Penn, Robin Wright Penn. Category TBC, 104 minutes. Opens Dec 4.