This movie promises love, lust, sex and betrayal. What it delivers is a miserable medley of half-baked intrigue and mild bedroom shenanigans, not enthralling and certainly not sexy. Its lusty, star-studded cast – Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson and Eric Bana – couldn’t have been more squandered.

The drama surrounds the Boleyn family’s attempts to charm King Henry VIII. Prodded on by the scheming Duke of Norfolk (David Morrissey), the Boleyn offer their strong-willed daughter Anne (Portman) to his majesty as a replacement for the latter’s current wife Catherine (Ana Torent), so far unable to produce a male heir. But Anne quickly falls out of Henry’s favor, so her good-natured sister Mary (Johansson) is quickly served up instead. Attraction is sparked this time and Mary eventually gets pregnant. But when Henry’s interest soon begins to wane, Anne is thrust back onto the scene to seduce Henry.

What follows is a series of betrayals and tame scandals never sensational enough to make this film engaging. It’s tempting to attribute this to director Justin Chadwick’s TV background, which may well have crippled him with an obsessively even-handed approach too safe for the big screen. As for the main actors, all three seem woefully miscast, particularly Bana, who also gives his laziest, blandest performance yet. While the costumes and cinematography might make up for things a bit, overall this joyless, sexless drama proves itself a royal failure. Terry Ong - 2 stars

Directed by Justin Chadwick. Starring Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana, Kristin Scott Thomas and David Morrissey.   Category IIA, 116 mins. Opens Apr 10.