Last Wednesday I reentered the wide world of poetry readings, a nice little institution woefully underrepresented in Hong Kong. As far as I could tell, it is one of two regular poetry meetings on the island.

So last Friday I had my “3K Birthday”—Korean, karaoke and Kee Club. I had intended to go to Go Koong, my FAVORITEST Korean restaurant in Hong Kong, but since there was to be a sextalingual singfest at J-Sound in Causeway Bay later, it was silly to make my party go to TST and then back to CWB, so I chose the next best thing, Han Ah Rum at CWB Plaza I.

It took me two years, 43 meals, and a shameless amount of sucking up before the owner of one of my favorite Korean restaurants in Kowloon told me the secret ingredient to her naeung myun. A bowl of perfect cold buckwheat noodles like the kind that’s made here deserves a respectful moment of silence.

A French TV station has been causing a stir among local Chinese restaurateurs after criticizing the hygiene conditions in many of their nation’s Chinese restaurants. An association of Chinese restaurant owners called for a nationwide boycott in protest against what they perceive as a prejudiced, racist attack—a refrain that sounds all too familiar.

It’s important to note that for better or worse, and I generally think better, to live in Hong Kong is to live in a Confucian society.

My friend Laura, an anthropologist, is convinced that Red Bull is a sort of magic Rosetta Stone that can unlock the deepest insights into human nature. Yet she swears to me her craziest theories aren’t a result of too much Red Bull, nor mixing some of it with a little vodka.

The campaign for a de-facto referendum as a result of a mini-mass resignation of five legislators seems to be running out of steam. The pan-democrats are deeply worried about a low turnout rate on May 16, after the Democratic Party decided to stay away from the heat and the pro-Beijing camp called for a total boycott of the by-election.

Ladies, I’ve taken my birthday week off to devote myself to higher ideals (and press lunches).

Sorry for the New Year column being late, guys. It’s not my fault though. It’s the fault of Zach Hines, the Managing Editor of HK Magazine, who looks like a cross between Sylar from “Heroes” and a 13-year-old Harry Potter. Here’s his picture:

Upon closer inspection, I realized these things weren’t teapots after all. Their abnormally large spouts, absence of proper handles, and general pooper-scooper shape made it abundantly clear. Yep, I was looking at urinals. Elaborate, antique, encased in glass, but nonetheless—urinals.