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When A Cock Gets a Rare Hard-on

By Chip Tsao | Jan 27, 2011

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An angry gamecock in India killed its keeper last week by attacking the man in the head and neck, slitting his throat with the razors attached to its legs.

The rooster, a champion in the local cockfighting market, had been on a winning streak, racking up a lot of money for its keeper, who wanted to make the most out of the champion. Even though his pet had won several rounds already that evening, he kept pushing the cock back into the ring. The exhausted gladiator was reluctant to get back onto the battlefield and kept trying to escape, only to be shoved back into the ring. Finally, the animal could not take any more and attacked by landing its legs with full force onto the neck of the man who feeds him, creating a most unusual bloodbath, leaving the human beings on the spot deeply shocked and the few cocks in the ring confused.

The Animal Farm-like rebellion took place at a time when the world is rumored to be nearing its end—2012, as predicted by the Mayans and Hollywood. Animals could behave strangely these apocalyptic days. For example, a python was seen bearing a frog on its back while fleeing from the flood in Australia earlier this month. Animals, poultry and even insects might be those lives which get God’s message first and either unite to escape from doomsday (or “The Age of China,” as some optimists prefers to call it); or bring, if possible, repressive and selfish mankind—which is largely responsible for causing air pollution, the mass extinction of species and the melting of the polar ice caps—to some kind of justice. The gamecock in India could have been playing a lone Spartacus.

What happened to the feathered gladiator next is unknown. If I were the family of its master, I would have asked for immediate revenge and fried the cock-murderer up into a Tandoori chicken curry marinated with yogurt. But at a time when even chickens and Tunisians unite and decide it’s time to call it a day, what about those of us here who feel bullied by an incompetent SAR government and the property tycoons? Is it not time to replace the clichéd Che Guevara t-shirt icon once promoted by Longhair with a more animate one?

With a bit of imagination, Hong Kong people could Facebook a Save-the-Heroic-Chanticleer campaign. We could raise enough money to send a delegation composed of a few democrats, youth representatives and animal lovers to India to bail out the rooster before some zoologists in Delhi become interested. Take the bird to Hong Kong and produce flags, toys and T-shirts out of the image of the “Pet of Democracy.” Ask the US Consulate for help to select and import a few Californian or Virginian hens of superior genetic stock, ready for reproduction. It would be more worthwhile than the breeding of so many other kinds of lives that are born to kneel, kowtow and weep.

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