Nov 17, 2011|
Feeling angry about our cover story last week about the redevelopment of SoHo? Well, take some inspiration from the protesters outside the HSBC headquarters and launch your very own “Occupy SoHo” campaign. If you do decide to encamp and entrench, please heed these tips and tricks below.
• Gather a ragtag group of freethinkers with backpacks on the steps outside of Staunton’s each and every damn night.
• Stand on the corner near the escalator and ceaselessly bombard all passersby with your literature.
• Walk four abreast in solidarity down the narrow sidewalks – slow down the 99%!
• Park delivery trucks outside of Urban Renewal Authority offices and idle exhaust up at their windows.
• Special attention should be paid to hygiene and sanitation. A sudden influx of encamped protestors may slightly increase the normal amount of vomit, scum, rats and trash that choke the neighborhood every morning.
• Politely ask every other banker walking by for a simple, “I’m sorry.”
• Make a fort from discarded HK Magazines.
• Stick it to Big Beer Hegemony by nursing a bottle from the corner 7-11.
• In Hong Kong, we have something even more potent than people power; you can make your voice heard by laboriously submitting a comment about redevelopment to the Town Planning Board via its website.
• Shackle yourself to a barstool and angrily bellow at anyone walking by about how you know everything about fixing the world, and rugby.
• Bring a biting sign or placard to drive your point home. Just grab any of the random property ads hanging in the area and brandish that—they’re both ridiculous and hilarious.
• Take a lead from the successful “Occupy Tai Ping Shan” crew. They successfully protested the redevelopment of their neighborhood by pre-emptively gentrifying it.
• SoHo is the ideal place to expound upon your view of how capitalism is broken over a $50 chai tea latte and a $95 organic frittata.